New Year Renewal: The Process

As we discussed yesterday, if you’re a little intimidated by crafting a winning resolution and creating an action-and-accountability plan, no worries! There’s still a way for you to take advantage of the new year all of the fresh-start-new-blessings stuff it’s just waiting to bring your way.

Although you may not be able to articulate what you’d like for yourself in 2012, most of us probably have a good idea of what we don’t want in the new year. We can learn more about those things, and kiss them all goodbye, with a little exercise I call a “New Year Renewal.”

There’s a more in-depth process that you can go through to really scrub the passing year clean; it’s below. If you’re crunched for time, fasttrack the Renewal by doing the following:

1. Write down all the things you wish to say goodbye to this year; things you do not want to return in 2012. It could be out-of-date relationships, ways you handled something that you feel a little guilty about, or just an icky experience that you wish to be free from.
2. Affirm that this part, this chapter, is over, and you wish to be free of it. (If the spirit moves you, say the New Year Renewal Prayers below to really send it on its way, with the power of 1000 suns.)
3. Take those scraps of paper, those tangible representations of things that bugged and bothered you this year, and burn them (safely!). Let the flames that lick the ever-so-delicate paper take your unresolved painful feelings and concern with the situation with them.
4. Discard the ashes, and say Thank You. “Thank you for your role and presence in my life, for what you taught me, for the person you helped to make me today, and thank you, now, for this freedom.”

New Year’s Renewal Prayer #1

(adapted from a prayer on page 179 of Marianne Williamson’s Illuminata)

Dear God,

I am bonded in my heart to experiences that now only exist in the past.

Please, dear God, disconnect my heart from the feelings within me about these experiences that do not serve.

I release these situations and my thoughts about them into your hands.

May the ropes that bind my heart and mind be cut.

May they not bind me or anyone involved, any longer.

I release it all, that I might be released.

Retract the silent hooks I have in these experiences.

Bring back to me my power and my love.

Cut the cords that chemically tie me.

Free me from this.

Free this from me.

May I find peace.

May others involved find peace.

Free us all.

Amen.

New Year’s Renewal Prayer #2

(adapted from a prayer on page 83 of Marianne Williamson’s Illuminata)

Dear God,

I surrender to you the year almost over.

May only the love remain.

Take all else into the fire of your transformative power.

Release me, release others, from any effects of my wrongmindedness.

As I now give to you who I am, what I did, who I loved, who I failed to love, please make all things right.

Take all things.

May I continue to grow in your light and your love.

Each day in the coming year, may I be better.

Amen.

If you have more time to devote to the Renewal:

All you do is get to a quiet place, preferably on the afternoon of New Year’s Eve, before all the celebratin’ begins, and review the year honestly. Go month-by-month if you have to jog your memory about what was going on and – more importantly – how you felt about what was going on.

First, sketch out the major stuff – where you were and what you were doing. Remind yourself of who was there, and the real stuff that occurred beyond the “who-what-when-where.”

Then, fill in the gaps with anything that comes to mind. As you jog your memory, you may feel some “ping-pings” – little ouch-y moments that show you some unresolved issues or perspectives on the things that happened. It can be a little uncomfortable at first, but when you feel those ping-pings, that’s the sweet spot. Those are EXACTLY the things you want to address and release.

As you go through your year, and the events, think of them in terms of highs and lows (this is something Certified InspireU Life Coach Chris Burell urges us to do in his “Setting Your Goals” Workbook – email me if you’d like a copy).

For the highs, consider these things:

• How do you feel about these “good” things?
• What active role did you play in them coming to be?
• Do you give yourself credit for that?
• Have you given gratitude for these things? (Make a note to thank involved parties, if you haven’t thanked them.)
• What can you do to shore up, remember, and affirm your productive actions that led to these “good” things in new year?

For the lows, consider these things:

• How do you feel about the “bad” things?
• Do you, today, wish they hadn’t happened, or are you glad they did?
• Do you have any questions about the situations?
• Is there anything that’s unresolved, unknown, or unhealed about them for you?
• How do you feel about the unresolved, unknown, unhealed parts of the situations?
• What do you fear about the unresolved, unknown, unhealed stuff?
• What do you REALLY fear about the unresolved, unknown, unhealed stuff?
• Even though you may fear, and may not know, how do you wish to choose to move forward today?
• Let me say it again: How do you wish to choose to move forward today?

As you can see by the questions, it can be a little deep, depending on what’s happened in your life this year and how you’ve handled those feelings all along the way. Overall, for the lows (for this exercise, and for you moving forward), I say that you have to create a safe space to just feel the pain. You may have to de-thaw a bit, so that’s why it’s important to be in a safe space for this to occur.

You have to (or… you have the opportunity to) be honest about what you could have done differently but also realize what you can do differently NOW. Do you need to reach out and apologize to someone? Write a get-it-off-your chest letter that no one ever sees? If so, make a plan to do it.

Once you get past the ping-ping pain, you ultimately will be grateful for the circumstances. Ultimately – remember, it’s a process. If the spirit moves you, and you see how “good” came out of the “bad” stuff already, give thanks for it. If you haven’t seen the “good” yet, no worries: it’s on its way.

Another angle you can take to your highs and lows list is to answer this other set of questions:

• Would close friends or family be able to fill out this list for you?
• Would you for them?
• How open have you been with them?
• How open have you let them be with you?
• You may have been open, but have you been honest? Raw-honest, not just quickly summed up positive spin honest?
• Do you have people in your life you can be “raw honest” with? If so, whom? Can they with you? Have you told them how much you appreciate them lately, and how can you do this more/better in the coming year?

Once you’re at a comfortable place with some (or all!) of the questions above, follow the write-‘em-down-and-burn-‘em process above and see yourself moving into your new year, cleansed and ready to take on all of the wonderful opportunities it holds for you.

Happy New Year, everyone.